So, you decided that your relationship was toxic for whatever reason – perhaps your ex partner had multiple infidelities, was addicted to substances, and/or was abusive toward you. It takes a lot of courage to follow through on a difficult decision, and you demonstrated that. Yet now you find yourself a little lost as to how to proceed. Once all that energy you put into maintaining the toxic relationship is freed up, what do you do with it? This is an excellent opportunity to put the focus on you and start planning and achieving goals to better yourself. Here are 3 steps to starting over after a toxic relationship ends:
1. Take excellent care of yourself. Eat healthy foods, focusing on organic and unprocessed food choices whenever possible. Take vitamins and supplements as needed – a fish oil supplement and a food based multivitamin are a good start for many people. A naturopath can create a specifically tailored supplement plan for you. Get regular exercise according to your doctor’s recommendations. Not only will your physical well being improve, this will also send a positive message to your mind that you are worth the effort.
2. Gather your support network around you and spend time with them. Loving friends and family are important, as they provide emotional support and “reprogramming” for the negative messages you received through your toxic ex partner’s words and behaviors. Spending time with your loved ones will also help fill your social calendar. Support professionals such as a counselor, who can help you sort through your emotions, and a coach, who can help you progress toward your goals, are also extremely valuable in this process.
3. Limit contact with your toxic ex partner whenever feasible. Putting yourself back into the influence of this person who is likely to keep doing the same harmful behaviors is generally unhelpful, particularly in the beginning when you are more vulnerable. If you must have contact due to sharing children, keep the interaction strictly to topic and disengage if your ex partner tries to veer of course into personal issues.
By the way, what is holding you back from making the best choices to achieve the life you deserve?
For a free copy of my ebook, “Strategies For Escaping Emotional Abuse”, click here: [http://www.stoptoxicrelationships.com/gifts-strategiesforescapingemotionalabuse.html]
Shannon Cook is a personal coach and resource guide who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and “difficult” divorces, including the physical, emotional, practical and relationship components.
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