How To Stop The Breakup (Without Losing Your Self-Respect In The Bargain!)

He’s gone and done it! He’s given you the “let’s take a break” speech that’s left you feeling hurt, lost, and on the verge of going completely crazy. What can you do to save your relationship? How can you get your boyfriend back without losing your self-respect in the process?!

When this happens, you may be tempted to dash off, collecting tips and advice everywhere – and from everyone. The answer must be out there. All you’ve got to do is find it, right?

Don´t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being well-informed and having different ideas to choose from. You just don’t want to try and use them all at the same time! That would be insane!

So, stop for a moment and take a reality check. What is it you really want to do?

You want to stop the breakup. Keep your guy. And maintain a healthy self-respect while you’re at it, right? Then these no-stress, drama-free tips are just what you need:

Go Along With The Breakup

What?! I bet that’s not what you were wanting to hear. Still, it’s probably the best advice you can get.

Truth is, you should never decide on a course of action based on the overwhelming flood of emotion you feel right after the breakup. Don’t even think about baking his favorite cake and rushing over to ask his forgiveness. Instead, drop him a short handwritten note (the key here is short! Really just a line or two) letting him know you’d been thinking along the same lines yourself.

Then the next time you see him, make a point of coming across as attractive, fun and able to live without him. Most of us want what we can’t have, and men are no exception!

But if you’re overly emotional and you nag or demand, chances are you’ll wind up scaring him off for good.

Time Off Will Do You Good

Though it may seem hard at first, taking a breather from your relationship can be a good thing. It’ll give you a chance to re-group and think about what might have gone wrong. Have you changed since the two of you first started going out together? Are you the same fun, sexy, confident women he fell in love with? Or have you fallen into a rut?

Do a bit of soul-searching and really try to see yourself the way your partner does. Think about how you were back then. Now think about how you are now. If there´s a gap, it’s time to start doing something to close it!

Time To Shine!

You probably know this already but the better you treat yourself, the better you feel about who you are. Sometimes settling into a relationship is like wearing comfy flannels all weekend long. You don’t worry about your hair or your makeup. You just relax.

And while that’s okay – now and then – it doesn’t do much for your long-term self-esteem. So why not use this time to get a new look. Try out a new hairstyle, buy yourself a new outfit or two. Something that makes you look – and feel – like a million dollars!

Another thing you can do is think about the kinds of things your guy found attractive about you in the beginning and play those up a bit more. I’m not just talking about appearances here, either. Maybe you were really into politics and he admired your passion to stand up for the underdog. Or perhaps you loved to waterski, hike or try your hand at exotic cooking. Whatever it was, get involved with it again… then make sure your mutual friends know what you’re up to as well.

Caveat: Just don’t jump back into the dating game… if you do, he might think you’re not interested in him anymore and decide not to call when he starts missing you again.

Basically, the key here is to get back to being the confident, fun-loving gal your guy originally fell in love with. No pressure. No nagging. Be open, positive and friendly. Let him see what he’s missing without flaunting it in his face.

If he’s still interested, chances are he’ll make the next move. If he’s not, you will have kept your self-respect and built up your confidence so you can take the next step and move on…

A firm believer in the saying: When love is good, life is great! Geraldine O´Brien is the founder of [], a relationship website dedicated to providing women with the advice, tips and resources you need to make the love you have even better! You can also join her on Facebook.

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