Secret relationships seem like a lot of fun, don’t they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when there’s romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier.
Secret relationships aren’t uncommon. However, they don’t always work. Actually, having a relationship that’s a secret can really strain your current relationship. The likelihood of this type of relationship being over quickly are very high.
It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without mentioning the relationship. If it wasn’t secret, you would probably be talking about your lover throughout the day in normal conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.
But with a secret relationship, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You may find it on the tip of your tongue to mention your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself many times throughout the day can be very stressful.
Add to that your partner’s feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension.
You will also find yourself getting paranoid about being seen together. You might find yourself always looking over your shoulder, wondering whether your significant other is around as well. This will prevent you from relaxing and enjoying yourself.
It’s not always like this though. If you’re keeping the relationship secret because you’re good friends and you don’t want people to know it’s become more, you can still be seen together. But you must give only appearance of friendship around others.
This can often be the very reason why a relationship is kept secret. Friends have become more than that but don’t want to “jinx” the relationship. Or perhaps they feel that their social group will not understand. Perhaps they feel that keeping it a secret is the best thing to do in case things don’t work out. Then their friends would never have to find out.
Office romances will often be a secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn’t know, both while it’s happening and in case it ends. And at work, such dating would probably be discouraged, making it necessary to keep it a secret.
But this is like saying that you don’t think the relationship will work out anyway, or that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won’t last, so much so that you’re keeping it a secret.
While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they’ll only be secret for a short time. Then you must decide if the relationship is the right one.
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