“One learns people through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.” Mark Twain
It might sound absurd but most of us hide behind smiles and words. Out of fear most likely or a lack of trust, we keep our true identities hidden. It seems sad that so many of us either don’t think another would like us if they knew “what we were really like,” or “how we were really feeling.” Relationships would be deeper if we could get beyond our doubts and fears. That also means all of us need to stop judging others so that they may feel more secure in releasing their genuine feelings. Strong emotions bring out confusion.
We might be unsure about what we should do. Others know this and most likely that is why most of our emotions are hidden. We present the smile and expected words of camaraderie. Inside the person may be feeling sad, tortured, sick, depleted, scared, unsure, and afraid to release these thoughts even to close relatives. What have we become? All of us have a wide range of thoughts and emotions and an even wider range of fears. We leave the party intact along with everyone else and go home feeling alone in our depressing thoughts even more so because everyone else appeared to have a great time.
Surprise! Most people at the gathering assumed you were having a great time even though they were not. If we didn’t judge, then we could all let our hair down. The most even tempered, together person, at times feels lost. We are human. We all have doubts and fears especially because we are making choices every day and facing problems to solve every day. Our decisions don’t always fly well with others yet we know they are the right choices to make. Life is full of doubt fear and pain. Let’s turn it around and realize we are triumphant in treading down the difficult path. It’s difficult to accept and deal with challenges and getting older, It’s hard to accept responsibility and blame and children moving on from our homes. Job loss and diseases and sicknesses and loss are challenging to face.
It’s okay to acknowledge in our hearts that we may not be as happy as our smile indicates. It’s also okay to enjoy the happy moments that come our way. It does not in any way diminish our feelings about personal issues. It should be okay to mention we are not in top form and at times sad or scared or angry or unhappy. It’s like releasing it to the universe and accepting any positive feedback that results from this release. Others may understand us more than we think. We hide but not really. Some things are just mute but understood. We can’t be afraid to take off the covers of our true self and we can’t be so judgemental that we prevent others and ourselves from doing it. Then when we smile it will be real. We may also smile more because it really is okay to have a whole range of feelings inside of us going through us at the same time. It’s okay to be human.
“We only know of one duty and that is to love.” Albert Camus
“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Authors website: http://www.pamreynolds.me
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