The world is demanding and constantly changing. People tend to ignore one of their most important anchors for intellectual sanity, emotional security, and spiritual wisdom-their primary relationship with a mate. A committed, lifelong relationship with another human being is a simple, obvious, and profound source of happiness, but relationships ring in low on many couples’ list of priorities. Although people might say their relationship is very important, their actual behavior contradicts them. Individuals become preoccupied with worldly matters (careers, material goods, social position) and begin to take their partners for granted. When attention goes elsewhere, the relationship anchor cuts loose and the relationship drifts out to sea.
This situation does not just happen to you. You are not the helpless victim of a world characterized by the popular, albeit misinformed, saying “Life is hard and then you die.” In fact, you are a co-creator of your situation and you can just as easily create something different and new using the power of Mind Freedom.
How To Think About Your Relationship
Your relationship success flows from paying sustained attention to your relationship. How you think about your relationship is typically dictated by learned beliefs and assumptions, many of which are negative and can lead you from one relationship failure to another. Become aware of relationship-negative messages you give yourself and others, and then intentionally shift them to positive messages. Here are two examples:
1. Having time for each other. Want more time with your partner?
Focus on your desire to be together. Picture the moments you’ve had together and the pleasure that brings. If other thoughts begin to whiningly intrude (“But we have so much to do. We can’t take time even though I want to. Other things are more pressing.”) let them pass through.
Replace them with: “We do have a lot going on in our lives, but we’re important and I want more time together. I know we can find some way to make that happen.” Possibilities will present themselves; situations will arise when you can choose to spend time together or not. Seize those opportunities.
2. Sustainability of Relationships. Want to spend a lifetime with your mate?
Picture the two of you growing happy and healthy together into old age. When learned assumptions insinuate themselves into your head (“Most relationships don’t last,” “Passion dies,” “Lovers grow apart.”) send them out the window.
Replace them with: “Our relationship will thrive throughout the years.” Act on every opportunity that emerges to intensify your connection.
Excerpted from our new book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007 – “Mind Freedom in Relationship: Conscious Attention to What Matters” Mind Freedom -Part 4 of 8 by Al Link and Pala Copeland
Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host Tantra Sacred Loving weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations around the planet. For more information call toll free from Canada or USA: 1-800-684-5308 International long distance: 1-819-689-5308 or send email: [email protected] Their book, Soul Sex: Tantra for Two, is published by New Page Books, 2003.
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