Megatolerance in Relationships – 5 Traits That Make You More Likely to Stay in a Bad Relationship

A relationship is supposed to be a mutually supportive, fulfilling experience in which work, effort, and commitment pay off. When this type of relationship exists between two healthy, well adjusted individuals, it has a great chance for long term success. However, when there is an imbalance in the dynamic, and one person is abusive, neglectful, or destructive and the other over tolerant of these “faults,” the relationship becomes a painful and cyclical drama. There are certain personality traits that seem to cause a person to be drawn to and tolerant of toxic or unbalanced relationships. Here are 5 tendencies that make you more likely to get involved with and stay in a toxic relationship:

1. You rationalize and make excuses for your partner’s bad behavior. You may use phrases like, “Well at least he or she doesn’t _____.” This is like comparing two car accidents. In one, you are permanently paralyzed, and in the other, you merely break your legs and need some stitches. Yes, there are always worse or more horrible situations than yours, but wouldn’t you just rather get in your car and make it safely to your destination?

2. You take on the consequences of your partner’s poor behavior. If your partner drank too much last night and is hung over, you may call in “sick” for him or her at work the next morning. You may even attempt to step in to fulfill your partner’s responsibility if it is possible, rather than allowing your partner to face the results of his or her failure to keep the commitment.

3. You tend to conceal your partner’s bad behavior from friends and loved ones. You may be both concerned for your partner’s reputation and ashamed to admit you are tolerating your partner’s behavior.

4. You are fearful of rocking the boat by confronting the issues, and feel like you will make any sacrifice to hold on to the relationship, even if it is doing you harm. You may feel as if you cannot live without your partner and will not be okay without him or her.

5. You believe that your partner needs you, and take responsibility for his or her well being, and perhaps even his or her life. You are convinced that your partner will never make it on his or her own, and you will be responsible if anything bad happens to your partner as a result of your leaving.

Are you interested in addressing your life challenges from a holistic standpoint, assessing the physical, emotional, and relationship components?

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Shannon Cook is a personal growth and relationship expert who has written a number of informative articles and ebooks on the topic of toxic relationships and holistic personal growth, including physical, emotional and relationship health.

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