Every person has a special gift, talent, and ability that God has placed inside of her for the fulfillment of the vision that God has called her to fulfill. Just as finding that vision is a part of this journey, so is developing this foreordained gift. It takes a good motivator to help someone not only discover her vision but bring out and harness her God-given talents and abilities.
The very essence of this article is to help you bring out the best in others… your spouse, your children, your friends, your co-workers, your staff, your congregation, your other family members, etc.
FIND OUT WHAT THEY LOVE TO DO.
Some people do not know where they are good at or what their talents are. Some have so many different talents that they are confused as to what they should really do. The first thing to do really is to find out what the person loves doing the most. What is she most passionate about? What, among the things she does, lights up her face when she does it? What does she do with so much ease? These are just some of the questions you can ask to help the person find out what her strongest points are.
When it comes to children, you will know right away what their inclinations are. My eldest, Justin, used to turn boxes into cars, robots, and computers. I knew then that he would end up either as an inventor or an artist. He is a graphics artist now and he is the one who designed the God’z Gurlz logo. My youngest, Rico, has always been fascinated with how things work or why they work the way they do. He loved experimenting. He would get cornstarch, mix it with water and would get amazed at how the mixture’s viscosity changes when pressure is applied to it. He is currently in 9th grade and excels in Math and Science. I recently asked him what he thinks he will do after high school or what he would like to take up in College. He said he wants to get into computer programming. See the pattern here?
Observing your kids is no different from observing other people you want to motivate. Find out where their strengths lie and motivate them in that area. Give them something to do that will enable them to develop their gifts. This is the main reason why I have been encouraging women who I know have the gift to write, to take part in our magazine. I want to see them develop that gift to the fullest, for the glory of God.
CATCH PEOPLE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.
It is so easy to catch people doing something wrong. We always call our children’s attention when they are not behaving the way we want them to, but we hardly catch them doing the right thing. Or if we do, we don’t compliment them in the same way or in a better way than when we are correcting them.
We should be “compliment” conscious than “finding fault” conscious. We have to be on the lookout for things to compliment about others, not to flatter them but to encourage them. There is a saying that goes… Flattery comes from the teeth out but compliment comes from the heart out.
CORRECT THE RIGHT WAY.
The Bible says that “the wise loves correction”. In fact, correcting others is helping bring out the best in them. However, there is a right way of correcting others so that you will build them up and not break their spirits.
Proverbs 15:4 says that a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but willful contrariness in it breaks down the spirit.
A correction that is done in a gentle way and not a harsh way is the right way of correction. Another right way is to focus first on what the person did right, and then present the thing to be corrected in a way that will let her know that you believe she can do better.
Let me give you an example here. If a person who submits an article to me has a real good article but lacks the impact that it needs to capture an audience, then the right way of correcting would be
You have a real good article. This can surely reach out to so many hurting women. You can even make it more impactful by choosing more powerful words.
IF YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING NICE, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.
I think I first heard this from the movie Bambi and it did make a lot of sense to me even as a kid. Why say something if you are just going to hurt the other person? And yet there are people who always say the wrong things not because they want to inflict hurt but because they don’t know how to say things the right way.
Proverbs 16:24 says: Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the mind and healing to the body. The opposite holds true for rude or “uncalled for” remarks.
I had a friend and sister in the Lord (very skinny and small-framed) who is a very nice person and a deep woman of God yet always says the wrong things. Let’s just call her Fiona. One time we were in an elevator on our way to a Bible study. One of our friends with us was a bigger lady. Fiona looked at her and said, “You will look more beautiful if you lose weight”. I was so shocked and called Fiona aside and asked her why she said what she said. Her answer was, “What was wrong with that”? She really looked so surprised with my reaction. She didn’t know what was wrong with her remark.
I have experienced the same thing for myself several times. I had a friend who saw me in a supermarket a few months after I gave birth and she said in her loudest voice, “What happened to you? Why are you so fat now”? I just stood there so shocked and embarrassed.
Ephesians 4:29 says… Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
BELIEVE THE BEST IN PEOPLE.
1 Corinthians 13:7 says that love is ever ready to believe the best of every person. This means that you always look at people positively, focusing on their strengths more than their weaknesses. When you start believing in people, you are encouraging them to believe more in themselves, the way God created them to be.
Bringing the best in people is such a fulfilling thing to do because you see them become the people who God made them to be… people who are confident of how they were uniquely designed… people who utilize their gifts to the fullest, giving glory to God… people who in turn become an encouragement to others. In effect, it also brings out the best in you.
Whoever refreshes others will be refreshed (Proverbs 11:25).
Lisa Maki is the founder of God’z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other.
For more of Lisa’s articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/
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