Our romantic relationships with women are arguably the most impactful relationships we have as adults. These relationships affect almost every area of our lives. We have all seen examples of men in loving pure relationships with women filled with honor, integrity, and purity. Unfortunately we have also seen far too many men from presidents and politicians, to teachers, coaches, and ministers who have squandered the influence and favor they had because they lived beneath their potential when it came to their relationships with women. How about you and me? Are we living beneath our potential in the most impactful relationships we will have on earth. Let’s talk about being real men on this issue and make sure we’re living up to our potential.
So what is your motivating factor when it comes to your romantic relationships with women? Is it love or lust? Giving or taking? Purity or impurity? Protecting or oppressing? Sincerity or manipulation? Your motivation going into a relationship will often determine the outcome and the effects it will have on everyone involved. Do you view women as wonderful beings designed by God to complete and help us or do you view them as sexual objects to be conquered? In our society and culture today, men are expected and encouraged to view women as the latter. There is nothing wrong with attraction, attraction is what brings us together and is God given. When this God given attraction and desire goes haywire, the result is lust.
Jesus has some interesting things to say about lust. In Matthew 5:27 he tells us “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” His thoughts about lust were so strong that he goes on to say, “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” These are strong statements made by Jesus because lust is a detrimental condition of the heart. It has nothing to do with what a woman is wearing, but everything to do with what’s in a man’s heart.
The motivation of lust is purely selfish. On the other hand the motivation of love is giving and selfless. If you’re motivated by love, it will be evident in your actions and attitude. Love is more than a mere feeling or desire. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 we have the absolute best definition of love given by the Apostle Paul. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails… ” Does this scripture define your relationships with women? We may think we know how to love, but we could probably all agree that God raises the bar pretty high here. With God’s help we can begin to truly love and seek the better of those we care about.
Love is not manipulative. It doesn’t scheme to get its own way. Love is pure and it seeks the purity of others. Let’s talk about this for a moment. If I truly love someone, then I am seeking their purity as well as my own. Unfortunately it appears sexual purity is often missing from a lot of our relationships. What is sexual purity? The book, Every Man’s Battle, accurately describes it as “Receiving no sexual gratification from anything or anyone outside of your husband or wife.” If sexual purity is missing from your relationships, then you may not truly know how to love. Hence your relationships may not be driven by true love, but by other desires.
Now don’t misunderstand me here, sex is wonderful! It is designed by God himself. But sex was intended for marriage. One woman and one man in a covenant committed to each other for the rest of their lives. A real man, filled with love seeks this in his relationships and won’t settle for anything less. Real love does not seek the impurity of others, especially those we say we care about. It seeks the purity, prosperity, and the blessing for others. Now you may be thinking, “I like having sex and so does my girlfriend or everyone I have sex with.” If this is your mindset, I totally understand your thoughts; I once thought the same way before when I lived in ignorance and rebellion. However my eyes have since been opened and I know that this is not how a man should live. Please understand this, if you love yourself, you will be concerned about your own purity. If you love your girlfriend, you will also be concerned about her purity, even if she is not concerned about it. It’s called Being the Man.
Love seeks the best for others. Remember love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. Real men are motivated by LOVE. If you don’t love, or aren’t seeking to love, then you’re simply using others for your own selfishness which is something that real men just don’t do.
Remember you’re not an animal. You’re a divine, unique, and intelligent being created in the image of God himself. You’re not an animal that is controlled by seasons and scents. Don’t be led by destructive desires that are selfish and self-seeking. Lead in love and seek the best for you and the women who come into your life. We’re talking about being a better man here! It’s time for us men to step it up, and quit acting like we walk around on four legs instead of two! When we live beneath our potential, it doesn’t just affect us, but those around us and countless generations after us. Let’s live the way we were meant to live, with love and purity.
When we live up to our potential and are pure in our relationships with women, it creates in us a character and integrity that will bring many blessings into our lives and the lives of those we love. For more information on becoming the men we were meant to be please click on the following link being a better man [http://michaelhagans.com]
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