Living Alone is Fine.
Sharing a home is not for everyone, and that is O.K. Many women and men for one reason or another live alone. When they are young they are constantly asked whether or not they have a girl / boy friend. People may even allude to the fact that they might be gay. Older people don’t come under this pressure, but may feel pitied by some of their contemporaries. Some very successful women I know, have come through a divorce or separation and have chosen to live alone, they have healthy long term relationships but sharing a home is not an option. This is what they have to say.
‘Living together breeds familiarity, I don’t want to see my lover cutting his toenails or nasal hair and I don’t want him to see me with a face pack on or swearing while I wax my upper lip. Living together allows you to slip into bad habits, take each other for granted and you never get asked out on a date!’
I think the message in this for couples is, pay attention to the mystery in your relationship. Your partner certainly does not need to witness your intimate personal hygiene regimen. Remember that your partner is a sensitive human being, show that you are interested and that you care. Ask them out on a date.
A sensitive supportive relationship is a wonderful thing, however, sharing your space and your life with someone just for the sake of not living alone, is probably not a good idea. You’ll end up making compromises that will frustrate you, their habits will irritate you and before you know it you’ll be making plans to be on your own again.
Answer these questions before you leap into sharing your home with a partner,
What am I willing to give up to accommodate this person full time in my life?
Am I willing to share my house, my bedroom, my money, my car, my time?
How much am I willing to do for this person?
How do I feel when I think about waking up next to this person in 10 years time?
What things annoy me about this person now – how will I feel when I have to be around them full time?
Do we agree on major issues, such as money, family, fidelity?
Do I get along with their friends and family?
If you are hesitating on these questions then now is not the right time to moving in with this person.
Take your time, get to know them a bit better – or keep the relationship on a dating basis, it works well for lots of people.
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