When you are involved with a group, they are your support team. You think the same as the group, you have the same belief system, they teach you their lessons and everyone will agree and support each others. Deep down, you may want different experiences to what they are having, so when you begin to study their belief system, their experiences, you will notice that maybe your beliefs, feelings and needs and desires may not align with theirs. Maybe you might agree with what they have to say, but underneath you feel different.
Perhaps you are suppressing your feelings and you just go along with what they say and do, in order to keep the peace and to stop yourself being judged or ridiculed. Maybe, you cannot express your authentic nature, feeling that you don’t have the right to place your opinions onto others. Perhaps you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone to seek freedom and to receive joy in something grander than your mind can understand in your present consciousness. No matter what the reason is, if at any level you do not entirely gel with the group and do not express your thoughts easily, you basically don’t belong to that group. You are playing a game.
To address and solve your issues, problems and challenges with group belief systems, can be broken down into 2 categories.
2. Know Your Limits
Let’s take a look at each category.
1. Acceptance – When you follow a group, you live their belief system and your life becomes filled with uncertainty, as the unknown makes constant demands on your coping mechanism. When you are involved with a group, whether work, family or social, you need to be able to ‘accept all things as they are’. Acceptance will allow events to grow and to open up naturally and so your reaction to them is agreeable without hiding or suppressing your feelings. Intolerance to others belief systems and actions bring resistance and resistance brings pain and suffering. It is where you try to change events from what they really are to meet your perceptions and agendas and so your reaction is unbalanced, as it builds up frustrations, false expectations and unfilled desires. ‘Acceptance of all things’ allows you to clear the stress as soon as it occurs and it gives you empowerment. It allows you to accept the group belief system, but you don’t have to take on their beliefs and drama story games so you won’t get caught up in their trap of uncertainties and adversities. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like their conditions, but just to accept it.
2. Know Your Limits – With group involvement to be able to learn and grow, you have to know your limits in various situations so you know if that scenario makes you feel weak or strong. A balanced way is to be secure in yourself by recognizing your self-worth, self-love and achievements, knowing that any outside event will not threaten your coping skills. The imbalanced way is when you control, dominate and manipulate others, to cover up your baggage, insecurities, weaknesses and excuses or when you allow others to control, dominate and manipulate you by enforcing their belief system onto you. When drama problems occur it is stating that there is something more that you need to learn about yourself and that stuck energy needs addressing and releasing.
Your life is only as free as you allow yourself to see it. For every situation you can see a past event in it, this is the past belief, so you actually interpret this event to what had occurred from past situations. When you hold on to a certain point of view, your old belief, you block and limit your perception thus creating a threat. Once you interpret your situation as a threat you will have a stress reaction.
Therefore, it’s important to question every belief, interpretation, perceptions and then to focus on the feelings, on the body responses and re-question your beliefs to see if it is still valid. Focus on the process and not on the outcome for stress will always arise if you concentrate on how something has to turn out, the expectancy, the agenda, as it is limited, controlled or forced. The wisdom of uncertainty comes in when you don’t have to know where you are going and what path to take or what the outcome will be, knowing that your journey will always be enjoyable.
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