Some friends of mine and I were at happy hour the other day, and the topic of dating came up. Well, a subtopic of dating. My friend Martin, who is in his mid-thirties, has a significant other he’s been dating for three months or so. He calls her Lady Friend, because he won’t call her his girlfriend yet.
Well, Lady Friend may not be on the same page as Martin, commitment-level wise. Martin won’t call her his girlfriend, and there she was inviting him home for Easter to meet her parents. This shocked him – ‘so soon!’ he exclaimed. But then we started talking and wondered, how soon is too soon, and how do you know when it is OK to invite the partner home?
For Martin, three months into a relationship is way too soon to meet parents. Another friend of ours, Jan, agreed. For Jane, a year was more like it. Jane told us that she only will bring someone home to meet her parents after that one year mark.
My most recent story is a bit atypical. I told them about it but not without hesitation. Five weeks. My boyfriend invited me home to meet his parents five weeks after we started dating. My friends were surprised, and asked me what I did.
Simple: I went. Turned out fine, we’re still together and happy nearly a year later.Ó That doesn’t mean that I was comfortable with five weeks though. In fact I waited several more months before inviting my boyfriend home to meet my parents.
It’s all about the pros and cons, when you are weighing whether or not it is time to invite your partner home to meet the parents. If you ask your significant other too soon, it’s going to come off as pressuring and rushed. You’ll make them uncomfortable.
Weigh that against the fact that it could be a good test for determining whether or not your partner is serious about you and the relationship. Do you want to wait for months and months, until you are very serious yourself, before you find this out? Probably not.
Martin? Well, Martin decided to stay home with his own family, and had a lovely Easter. He’ll visit Lady Friend’s parents after a few more months have passed.
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