Are you looking for Christian relationship help to guide you on when to confront people? Confronting is necessary. We are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:25); exhort those that are in sin (Matthew 18:15-17); and challenge a fool (Proverbs 26:4-5). Yet, we don’t want to be confronting people over every little thing that bothers us or we will destroy our relationships.
It takes wisdom to know when you should confront. The easiest guideline is to overlook the little things and confront the big things.
Overlook the little things.
Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is his glory to overlook an offense” (NIV). When you can overlook an offense by offering grace, it brings peace to your relationship. Here are the little things:
You are irritated but not harmed.
It is the person’s idiosyncrasy.
It is a personal preference or difference.
The same thing bugs you in everyone (which means it is your issue).
The irritation is due to your own state of mind.
You will forget about it quickly.
Confront the big things.
Speaking the truth in love means you care enough about the person, yourself, and the relationship to confront the things that are damaging. Confronting the big things brings peace and reconciliation in the long run, even though it might stir things up in the short run. Here are the big things:
You will be resentful if you don’t say anything.
You can’t let go of it.
The person is hurting you or others.
The person is hurting himself or herself.
It is a clear matter of right or wrong.
Standing up promotes the gospel.
This Christian relationship help provides you a guideline for when to confront and when not to confront. You can see how overlooking the little things is good for your relationships; however, it is also true that overlooking the big things is harmful to your relationships.
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Karla Downing is an author, speaker, licensed marriage and family therapist, and Bible study teacher. Karla’s passion is to help people find freedom in Christ in the midst of their difficult relationships and circumstances through Biblical truths and practical tools.
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