Carnal Instincts, Social Chemistry, or a Feel Good Factor? We Like to Say Yes!

What is this all about?

If you think this is all about getting down on bended knee and dropping the question, you probably won’t be disappointed. But be warned, eve teasing, chat up lines, asking for one’s hand in marriage, et cetera, et cetera is not all there is to it.

We introduce situations which call for a YES response. And touch on some of the feelings, that may be encountered should that YES response not be forthcoming.

We are disposed to saying Yes. Our psychological make-up, our philosophies, even our chemistry, all need to stand up and be counted, in order to find out why indeed, we have this tendency to say yes.

Getting down on bended knee

You’ve met. Ever since that day, way back when, you have invested bundles of money, emotion & time (met) on your SO (significant other). Now you are going to ask your SO, to marry you!

Ending the “Time on Risk”

If you were a business, you would describe the time from when you began dating to now, as time on risk. The phrase time on risk is insurance industry parlance.

Let’s make it simple. “Time on risk” starts when a business gets a sales lead. They work this lead, lunches, presentations, tenders, golf weekends, pumping it through their sales funnel. The time ends when the prospect signs on the dotted line. Or gets into bed with another business!

“We regret to inform you, that on this occasion… ”

“… you have not been successful”. Time on risk can live up to its name, and be, well, risky! Businesses, when they lose, are usually pragmatic. You can rest assured that they will be funneling other prospects down their pipes! Human relationships usually do not have that luxury.

A negative response, is going to be devastating. There is no pain, quite like the pain of rejection. Your friends tell you that there will be “another bus along soon”. In that moment, at that time, they know, we all know, there is no way to console the inconsolable.

Have a one track mind? Yes!

Is saying “yes”, nothing more than a checkered flag, waving through another high octane lap in a relationship between two lovers? Maybe. Maybe not.

Saying “yes” usually does ring the changes and usher in a transition in relationships of all shapes and sizes.

You could be fast-tracked, but end up in the hard shoulder, sidelined. A chilly spell could ensue in which you are given the cold shoulder, but things could warm into a shoulder to cry on, shoulder.

Popping that question puts you in a place where there is no middle ground. There is no half-way house! You willingly put yourself in no man’s land. From there, you either reach the dizzy heights of the summit stone, or you fall into the abyss, breaking all your bones!

Seeking a Yes Response

The below trio of points, puts to bed the lingering notion that it is only love-sick Romeos, on a hormonal horse champing at the bit, that are unequivocally driven to seek a YES response.

Imagine you need your boss to say YES to a pay hike or a promotion. Imagine your livelihood is dependent on a yes answer.
The people of Scotland, in an independence referendum, will be urged to say YES, to continue to be part of the UK.
Falkland (Malvinas) Islanders will be asked to say YES, to stay a sovereign part of the UK, rejecting Argentina’s claim to the territory.
Getting a YES answer, or at least making it more probable, is all about tapping the electricity that courses through our bodies. The key point to learn, in order to get a result, is the direction of the flow. If you go against it, you could land yourself in trouble.

The Man from Del Monte Says Yes

During the Eighties, Del Monte (meaning “From the Mountain” in Italian), a company most famous for its canned fruit products, ran a series of Ads ending with the catch-phrase “The Man from Del Monte says Yes”.

A hatted, suited, middle-aged man was pictured slap bang in the middle of a fruit plantation, either in a sunny mediterranean field, or in rolling African hills, picking and sampling the fruit. If he liked the fruit (as was always the case), he gave a thumbs up signal, kicking off the harvesting process amid shouts and cheers.

This hugely successful Ad series, was like a hand, reaching out from the television, going right through your body and touching your heart. We love the word “Yes”. You just cannot over-state the feel good factor, that emanates from hearing “yes”!

Summary. We are designed to say Yes!

The human psyche taken as a whole, is designed to deliver us, warts & all, into the loving arms of those who ask us, the right question, in the right way, and at the right time.

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