Getting married is exciting, but it’s also a huge decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
If you’re eager to walk down the aisle, but unsure whether you’ve found the right person to do it with, ask yourself the following five questions before you agree to say “I do”.
1. What Does “Commitment” Mean to You?
Before you get married, it’s important that you discuss commitment with your partner. Make sure that it means the same thing for both of you.
If the two of you have different ideas of what a committed relationship entails, there is bound to be trouble on the horizon in your future marriage. What one person finds important may be inconsequential to the other and this can lead to frustration and hostility.
It is strongly advised that you talk it over with your prospective spouse, and make sure that you both have the same ideas regarding relationships and faithfulness. You might be disappointed by what you find out – but better now than after the wedding.
2. What Are Your Financial Habits?
Money is one of the top reasons for fights, arguments and acrimony in marriages and other relationships.
If saving is important to you, but he loves to spend, it can create a lot of hard feelings.
Make sure you understand each other’s money habits and try to find a way that you can meet in the middle. A financial adviser may be able to help you come up with a way to share expenses that is fair to both of you and helps you avoid the power struggles.
3. How Close Will You Be With Family and Friends?
He may want to spend all his time with you, but you might love having your Friday night out with the girls. Or maybe he finds it important to always have Sunday lunch at Mom’s house, while you’d prefer to spend Sundays just the two of you at home or at the park.
These are things that you need to know before you tie the knot. They are the kinds of differences in opinion that can have quite a negative impact on your marital bliss.
You should also talk about the importance of holidays with the family and how often you’ll need to visit the parents.
You may also want to discuss any family members with mental illness or addiction problems, as these things sometimes have a way of interfering in your life.
4. How Do You Both Handle Stress?
How you deal with your own stress and anger is one thing you need to be aware of. But how will you react when it’s your partner who is stressed out or angry?
The strongest relationships are built by couples who are able to support their partner through difficult times and empathize with their partner’s anger.
If you and your partner have a habit of feeding off each other’s stress, creating situations that are progressively more explosive, you need to work on your problem solving skills before you move in together. If not, the odds are your marriage won’t last.
5. How Do You Express Your Love?
We all have a need to know that we are loved. But each of us has different ways of showing our love to others.
He might feel like working hard and supporting his family makes it obvious that he loves you. Meanwhile, you may be feeling neglected because he never stops to give you a hug.
It’s vital to your relationship that you share those feelings. You should never feel that you’re being needy; the need for expressed love is universal.
When you’re both on the same page about showing and expressing your love, and both are ready to accept that love, you’ll know you’re ready for marriage.
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