PEACE MAKER, by Ken Sande, espouses a system for reconciling faltering relationships that, when used, cannot fail. When we commit to glorifying God we see that there is always some sort of log in our own eye we must remove first. Once that is done, we don’t want to stand in the way of the other person assuming their own responsibility – if they see it. Lastly, we commit to go all out in a drive toward reconciling whatever can be reconciled.
Peacemaking has had a bad rap at times, but we should know, as Christians, that it is God’s will that we reconcile upon all our relational differences, as far as it depends on us. Sometimes full reconciliation is not possible, but at least we might be able to part not being enemies. There is always a better result to be had if we try hard to represent the rights of the unit.
The addressing of any conflict is on three parts: on you, and me, and on the part between us, or on us and each part of us.
FIRST: We need to remove the log in our own eye. This is the most relevant and salient part, for when one person chooses to see the truth in their portion of wrong, and when they make amends, the other person can see the grace of God implicit in the arrangement between the two. There is usually a bending forward from the other in response – not always, but usually.
SECOND: To gently restore another in their accepting their portion of fault for the conflict is about resisting the temptations of protecting them from their wrong and making too much use of their wrong. The former is likely to render reconciliation weak and ineffectual. The latter is likely to exasperate the other person, for they do not need to have their noses rubbed in it.
THIRD: we do whatever we can – so far as it depends on us – to reconcile the best that is possible. Reconciliation is bigger than any individual, and even bigger than the unit. It has a ripple effect into many other relationships. Reconciliation, therefore, is always worth it.
FOURTH: Having done these first three we then go on to glorify God!
There are four ways to promote a peacemaking existence: 1. Get the log out of our own eye; 2. Gently restore the relationship by allowing the other person to take their own responsibility; 3. Go and be reconciled by exhibiting the forgiveness of God, without delay, and thereby we find a way to 4. Glorify God.
© 2013 S. J. Wickham.
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